One Way Street
This morning I realized that I’m on the verge of living on a one way street when it comes to peoples emotions lately. Not good. Up until the last couple weeks, I’d been going through a really rough time. For the last few months I’ve been nothing but depressed, angry and basically a total nightmare to deal with. My poor friends.No one wants to listen to someone bitch and moan all the time! It wasn’t until a few hours ago that I realized just how annoying and frustrating it probably was to deal with me. Lately I’ve had a few close friends (and a few not so close) who’ve been total negative nancy’s. I find myself sympathetic for a short moment, before my mood turns to annoyance, and I just want to zip myself back into my own bubble, where I don’t have to deal with anyones problems but my own. How selfish have I become!? This isn’t who I am, and it isn’t who I want to be. I don’t like the feeling of irritation, disgust, and resentment when people are talking to me about their lives, and to think of it as whining. I shouldn’t want to end a conversation as quick as possible if the person I’m talking to starts to complain about something going on in their lives. Jeez Louise, I need to get a grip! I’ve always been one to care deeply about the people in my life, even the ones i don’t know very well. I don’t want to lose that about myself. Today, I am making a conscious effort to take an interest in peoples lives, notice if they need a shoulder to lean on, and offer them mine. I want to lift people’s spirits, not let them fall. I am so thankful for the amazing friends I have in my life that were there for me in my darkest hour, and never let me feel alone, no matter how hard it was for them to be there for me. Depressing people can drag you down, and I know I’ve dragged down a few in my day. Starting now, I will be more sensitive to peoples feelings and needs. I will be there, no matter what. I will lend my support whole heartedly and genuinely. Today I turn off this one way street.
